Couples accustomed to joint decision making may need to change their style in active labor; it is sometimes a good idea to have a plan before entering the labor room.  In “laborland” a woman’s logical and verbal abilities are significantly impaired.  Even if she has a question or understands what’s being said or asked, she can’t always speak up.  You have the right to recieve balanced information before making any decisions about your health care.  Take responsibility: learn all the facts and alternatives.  Then your “yes” or “no” will be a genuine informed decision, and can also be discussed pre-labor….and your birthing partner and medical team will be informed about your preferences.  In modern medicalized labor, even during normal labor, couples often are bombarded with directives and decisions.  One of the most difficult tasks is to diferentiate between what is routine, optional, and/or necessary.  To a large extent, extracting key information in a given situation falls to the father or birthing companion.  This is for a number of reasons.  First there is the trance like nature of labor itself.  Then there is a woman’s socialization to be polite and cooperative with authorities.  Finally, the psychological vulnerability and dependency accompanying the role of hospital patient can block even the most assertive and educated woman from taking charge.  Some fathers or birthing companions may need to be more assertive than they usually would be.  She’s depending on you, so if questioning or standing up to medical personel will be too uncomfortable for, be honest, and arrange someone to be there who can.   If you can’t do it, have someone at the birth who can.

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